


Casino Smash

by Zhampy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/M, Gambling, Gen, Humour, I'm Sorry, Kaito is Thirsty, complete failure, ilu really kaito, straight af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 17:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13575810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zhampy/pseuds/Zhampy
Summary: Kaito has organised a boys day out at a casino with absolutely no ulterior motives whatsoever.





	Casino Smash

**Author's Note:**

> Non-despair AU where casinos aren't illegal in Japan. The most specific of AUs! I don't know squat about gambling, enjoy LOL.

 

It had taken a good few days to persuade his friends slash classmates (some overlap) to join him on this little “Boys Day Out”, as he called it, to a casino. Objections ranged from having no money, to needing to study, to not knowing what a casino actually was? But his persistence had paid off and eventually everyone had been convinced to attend.

And he had made a real effort to dress in his classiest-yet-casual clothes, style his hair is a neat, playful manner, and drown himself in cologne to the point everyone on the train journey had complained about it.

He looked at his unknowing cohorts.

Kokichi looked like he had just escaped from a gay rave in his too-large tank top and shorts, and a multitude of colourful plastic bangles and wrist straps. Shuichi had tried and succeeded at being as generic as possible for a boy their age in a hoodie and jeans, though the dorky bum-bag was suspect. And Korekiyo, with his terrible immune system, wore his signature face mask, a smart black jacket and neatly pressed trousers.

Gonta was wearing a white T-shirt with a bug pun on it (an “I want to bee-lieve” X-Files crossover) and shorts, and of course he could not be parted from his trusty bug box. Next, and looking like a dandy grandpa, was Rantaro who was wearing a low-button cardigan and beige slacks. Ryoma was decked out in a full leather outfit with a tartan scarf, lending him the appearance of a tiny biker boy. And lastly Kiibo was disguised in normal-people clothes as generic as Shuichi, though the lines on his face were still visible.

Certainly an interesting bunch.

It had been a small hassle getting Ryoma, Kiibo and Kokichi passed security, but between Rantaro's silver tongue and Gonta's assuming size they all managed to get into the casino gambling area okay.

“The bright lights hurting Gonta's eyes,” Gonta said, shielding his face from the gaudy decoration of the casino.

“It is a bit overstimulating,” Kiibo agreed over the background noise of gambling and chatter. “We can go back outside if you'd like.”

“Yes, Gonta would like that! Thank you!”

“Guys! We _just_ got in,” Kaito whined.

“I'm not wasting any time then,” Ryoma muttered and moved deeper into the casino.

Rantaro shrugged and followed the smaller boy. “Ah, to see the legend in action!”

“I will also be taking my leave here,” Korekiyo announced, leaving no time for a rebuttal.

“Guuuys! This is meant to be a group act—oh, whatever...”

Kaito gave up as the group immediately split up and went their own ways. He grabbed Shuichi by the collar before the detective could also get away.

“Alright, Shuichi! My main man! I want you by my side this entire trip.”

“Huh?”

“You have this shy, depressing 'the world hates me' look. The chicks dig it! It's nuts! So you're my lure to reel in the ladies.”

“Oh, I see the reason for this trip now,” Shuichi didn't look surprised. “I'm not going to do anything that could endanger my relationship with Kaede.”

“Dude! You don't have to get laid! Only I have to get laid! It'll be fine!”

“Mmmm, no.”

“Kaede won't even know!”

“When you say it like that it makes me want to help you even less,” Shuichi said as he backed out of his best friend's reach. “Sorry, Kaito!”

Shuichi ran off leaving Kaito standing alone with his head hung in defeat, when a shiver ran up his spine despite the warmth of the casino. He slowly turned around to be faced with a grinning Kokichi.

“No,” he simply said and stomped off.

 

* * *

 

Totally not fleeing from his classmate Kaito found Ryoma and Rantaro not too much further into the casino. Ryoma had just settled himself at a slot machine with Rantaro next to him, who was doing a poor job of hiding his excitement at the prospect of seeing the Ultimate Tennis Pro work his gambling magic.

“Ryoma! Rantaro! My two best guys! I want you both on point tonight.”

Kaito got between them and flung his arms around both boys, grinning roguishly and drawing an irritated grunt from Ryoma.

“What's this about?” Rantaro asked.

“It's an important mission, my friends,” Kaito levelled his gaze at them seriously. “As you might have noticed, I’ve hit a bit of a dry spell lately with regards to the ladies.”

“All of semester as far as I’m aware.”

“Yes, thanks, Ryoma.”

“What about Maki?” Rantaro asked, as if the matter was as plain as day.

“What _about_ Maki?” Kaito replied, perplexed.

“Ah,” Rantaro stumbled, looking uncomfortable with Ryoma glaring at him and Kaito waiting curiously for a response. “She's nice?”

“Whatever, dude,” Kaito rolled his eyes.

He shrugged apologetically as Ryoma shook his head in disbelief. Kaito was beyond stupid.

“Listen,” Kaito began. “It's simple really. I just need you guys to work your wingman magic while I impress with my party piece. You barely have to do anything! C'mon, be bros!”

“That stupid shit,” Ryoma muttered.

“It's a tried and true technique!” Kaito replied defensively.

“Yes, I recall you tried with my ninth eldest sis—“

“We DON'T talk about Aiko anymore!”

“…you're taking this very seriously, huh?” Rantaro asked.

“You know it!” Kaito barked and marched off.

“I don't remember agreeing to this farce,” Ryoma sighed.

Rantaro put a friendly hand on Ryoma's shoulder. “C'mon, you can't spend all your time holed up in your dorm alone. You've got to live a little! Come watch Kaito make a fool of himself and have a good time.”

“Hmm, you may be right,” Ryoma smiled as they both followed the astronaut. “I _will_ watch Kaito make a fool of himself.”

Shuichi was his best friend—and usually his partner in most things social—but Kaito had to admit that Ryoma and Rantaro were both prime wingman material. Both boys were incredibly popular for different reasons. Despite his height, Ryoma's aloof and seemingly cool personality like a nihilistic badboy with a heart of gold was attractive to a large number of girls. And as almost a complete opposite to that was Rantaro who was chill, polite and traditionally attractive; he often complained about the attention he received and how he had unintentionally created a playboy persona.

They caught up to him shortly as he'd already ordered his drink at the bar. They joined in and he began chatting up any girl who even remotely got close to their seats. A veil of desperation already hovered over their heads as Ryoma tried his best to become even smaller and Rantaro nonchalantly greeting every girl that spoke to him.

“Are you a model?”

“You're so cool!”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“I love your voice.”

“Hehehehe.”

“Your scarf is so cute.”

“You have twelve sisters? I have six cats!”

Just some of the bits of conversation he could catch as Ryoma and Rantaro reeled in the ladies. Things where going great as he impressed various girls with his stories of astronaut training, but eventually Rantaro began to tire. He excused himself from his conversation and discreetly nudged Kaito.

“Maybe it's time for you party piece?”

“Don't encourage him,” Ryoma replied sternly.

“I'm sorry, I don't want to be here,” Rantaro whispered across.

“Rantaro is right!” Kaito shouted, startling everyone around him. He slammed a shot glass down. “Gimmie a B-52!”

“Here we go...” Ryoma put his face in his hands.

The bartender expertly filled his glass and Kaito produced a lighter from his pocket; the top layer of the drink was ignited.

“Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!” Kaito shouted about himself.

“Uh, sir...”

“Do it! Yeah, do it! Yeahh!” The crowd around them chanted, drowning out the bartender.

Kaito proudly stood up, knocked the flaming shot back, gagged and promptly spilt it all over himself.

“Aughh!” The flaming liquid spilt from his mouth and down his chin. His lower face was engulfed in flames as his goatee caught fire. “ARGHH!!”

The group around him screamed and laughed as they spread out.

“Get it off my face, GET IT OFF MY FACE!!” He screamed with his face on fire, flailing around.

“Kaito, Kaito!” Rantaro shouted in panic. “Ha, ha...”

Ryoma stopped his flailing and slapped his face a few times trying to put out the flames. Maybe a few times more than necessary when it was obvious that, that wasn't actually working. He took his scarf off and smothered Kaito's head until the flames died.

“Ha, ha, ha...” Rantaro's quiet laughing was lost amongst the crowd.

Which left Kaito dazed and gasping on the casino floor. The group of onlookers they had gathered shrieked with laughter. It took a moment for him to recover but Ryoma and Rantaro watched him run off to the tune of the bartender calling security.

They looked to eachother blankly

“Quite an entertaining detour, but now I think it's time to win,” Ryoma smiled.

“Right behind you, my friend!”

 

* * *

 

He took a short personal moment in the toilets until his face stopped tingling and he could talk without a lisp again, then left to find his next target. Gonta hadn't returned to the casino, it seemed, as Kaito found him outside in the foliage near the pool area. The entomologist wasn't perhaps the best choice for a wingman, but he was at least the best option of his remaining classmates. Probably. His naivety and obliviousness was incredibly charming to the point he had girls falling over themselves to spend time with him, bless his unaware, precious heart. Kaito was confident he would make a helpful, unwitting partner.

He easily convinced Gonta to come play with him in the pool.

Almost immediately Kaito realised this was a mistake when Gonta bombed into the pool, resurfaced and threw his hair back as if he were a model in a shampoo advert. The spray and water droplets clung to his body and shone, highlighting his muscles with a proud sparkle. Kaito could see those gathered around the pool staring with thirst and awe. Gonta obliviously waved at him.

“Kaito! Pool is great! Come, come!”

So Kaito limply slid into the pool, his ego already taken a beating before he'd even begun his plan. He was well-built but looked like a total noodle next to Gonta. His ego was injured even further when four girls splashed by him, not once taking their eyes off Gonta.

“Ooo~”

“You're so big!”

“Can you lift us?”

“Please, please!”

Gonta looked to Kaito then back to the girls. “Um, a gentleman never reject a request from a lady!” He held out his arms.

The girls giggled and held onto his biceps, two on each arm, as he lifted them up and down, in and out of the water with ease. They all squealed and Gonta laughed happily with the attention he was receiving.

“Hey, check out these guns!” Kaito shouted and struck a pose, flexing. But no one took any notice. Everyone (guys and girls) was too fixated on the entomologist lifting and throwing people in the water.

Kaito crawled out of the pool in shame. “I can't compete with this. What was I thinking!”

“Hey, mister!” Two little kids approached him and threw up their arms. “Lift us! Lift us!”

Kaito groaned. “Are you kidding me!?” But their star-struck faces gazed up at him and he couldn't say no. They grabbed his arms and giggled with excitement as he began doing squats and lifting them simultaneously.

“Things are going well?” Shuichi slid over out of nowhere, asking slyly.

“Step off it, man,” Kaito huffed.

After a while he dropped the kids and they ran off happily to their parents. A strawberry-blonde girl sauntered over to him soon after. “You're so good with kids,” the girl said as she stood a little too close to him.

“I guess,” he frowned, jealously looking over to Gonta and the other girls in the pool.

“I bet if we had kids you'd be such a great dad,” the blonde continued. She moved closer and ran a finger down his chest.

“Uh-uh-ah...”

She pushed herself flush against his body. “Wanna be my baby-daddy?”

Shuichi cleared his throat.

The girl noticed and continued. “I've got friends...”

This girl must've been some distant relative of Miu's, she was so crude and forward. Kaito's innuendo game was being tested.

“You must be fun at sex parties,” he replied.

“They're called orgies, Kaito,” Shuichi cut into the conversation, taking advantage of his friend's stunned silence to continue. “How many do we have to go to together before you get the name right?”

Kaito spluttered. “W-w-w-what!?”

“O-oh, I see. You two are—?” the raunchy girl backed off and looked between them both a bit disappointed. “Oh, okay. Sorry to bother you both! Toodles!”

“Shuichi! I hate you!”

Only when the girl was gone did Shuichi allow his face to turn bright red. “Sorry, Kaito it had to be done.”

“Ughhh,” Kaito slouched to the floor.

Now the girls in the pool could be heard screaming in terror as Gonta shoved insects in their faces.

“You know, you might have better luck meeting someone back at the academy. I think there's someone there who is the perfect fit for you. Kaede can—“

“No! You know what I think!?” And Kaito jumped back up with a sudden renewed vigour out of nowhere. “I think this is a CASINO! I’m here to win! And when I win big the chicks will be swarming allll over me! The ladies love a rich man!”

“Kaito, seriously, there's someone—“

Kaito stomped his foot, put his hands on his hips and threw his head back laughing. “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Today is the day that Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, becomes a billionaire! Watch me, universe, because this guy is a winner!”

He raced back indoors leaving Shuichi standing alone, awkwardly, by the pool.

“What a weirdo,” a random person said.

Shuichi blushed again. “Sorry,” he muttered and fled back indoors too.

 

* * *

 

 

Unfortunately it had come down to it; he found Kokichi loitering around the roulette tables cleaning up lost chips like a starving vacuum cleaner. Of course the annoying little manlet wasn't an ideal choice for wingman, but there were worse choices yet he hopefully wouldn't have to resort to. Kokichi's small stature attracted the doting sort of lady, and all he had to do was intervene before the small Supreme Leader's horrid personality drove her away. Pretty simple stuff really.

“You gonna turn those in?” he approached Kokichi.

“Uh, no? Finders keepers and all that jazz.”

“Seen any cute girls?”

“Not interested. I need money. Money!”

Kaito huffed. “I need to get laid.”

Kokichi turned to him, blinking slowly.

“Oh, Kaito-chan, I didn't know you felt that way!” Kokichi shouted loudly, drawing onlookers. He threw his arms around Kaito's waist and hugged him hard. “I accept your feelings!”

“Get _off_!” Kaito shoved the smaller boy away after a short struggle.

Kokichi regarded him with a lazy grin.

“Hey, hey, let's go gambling! A big win would really raise your dating profile, ehh?”

“I thought you had no money?” Kaito asked suspiciously.

Kokichi waved him off. “Oh, I have plenty now. Let's go gambling. Gambling! Gambling! Gambling! Illegal, underage gambling!”

“Keep your voice down,” Kaito hissed.

There were two attractive ladies at one of the less crowded roulette tables. A plan formed in his head. Kokichi was right; a big win _would_ raise his profile. If he demonstrated what an awesome gambler he was and made fat stacks those girls would swoon right into his lap. He detailed this idea to his classmate.

“Sounds like a plan, buddy!”

“Right. And don't call me 'buddy'.”

“Gotcha! Pal!”

Before he had time to compose himself and saunter over with style, Kokichi had dashed over to the table and pushed his way inbetween people despite there being open spaces available. Kaito clenched his fists and followed quickly.

“Put it all on red!” Kokichi ordered the croupier.

“Don't put it ALL on red,” Kaito shrieked.

“ALL on red!!” Kokichi reaffirmed when the croupier paused.

The roulette wheel spun and everyone at the table was worriedly glancing between the small ball and the little pile of chips sat daringly on red. The two girls in particular seemed interested as they sent curious looks over at them. Kaito was sweating bullets already.

“Aaaaand black is the winner,” the croupier announced. He gathered Kokichi's pile of chips across the table.

“Oh, daaaang, that sucks,” Kokichi pouted momentarily.

The two girls at the table were now throwing glances their way, openly pointing and giggling to eachother. Kaito could feel his face heat up with embarrassment.

“Kokichi, we're supposed to look cool,” he hissed.

Kokichi slammed his hands down. “We're supposed to win MONEY! This is a CASINO! Maybe I’d have more luck if I used my own stuff.”

“Your own? That was—wait!” He checked his pockets. “THOSE WERE MY CHIPS!!”

“You have shit luck, Space Man, wahahaha!”

The two girls shrieked with laughter and haughtily tottered away as Kokichi cackled loudly and wandered off nonchalantly in the opposite direction, leaving a humiliated Kaito at the table by himself.

A loud cheer erupted from behind and he turned around to notice that Ryoma and Rantaro had attracted a huge crowd. They all cheered as Ryoma collected his largest winnings yet.

Shuichi's stupid, grinning face caught his attention from across the room as they passed by in opposite directions.

 

* * *

  

The bottom of the barrel was being well-and-truly scraped now. He met up with Korekiyo by chance as they were both exchanging money for more balls. To be honest, he didn't actually know what sort of women Korekiyo attracted—they all knew the anthropologist was in a relationship with _someone_ but after some half-hearted detective work they'd not managed to figure out who exactly. Whatever sort of lady it was he was sure he could work with it.

He tagged along with his classmate over to the pachinko machines. Apparently Korekiyo attracted older women.

Much older women.

“You're such a kind young man. Isn't he tall, Betty?”

“So tall, Pearl. I could climb him like a fireman's pole.”

Korekiyo coughed as he handed over two cups of balls to the pair of old women. “These ladies are certainly feisty for their age.”

“Yooo, dude,” Kaito was turning his nose up at the situation. “I know you have weird taste an' all, but the old ladies really doing it for ya?”

“Certainly not! Unlike a certain astronaut, this fireman's pole is already spoken for and monogamous.”

“Yeah, sure,” Kaito eyed his classmate with suspicion. “We ever gonna meet this 'Goddess' of yours?”

“No.”

“Fair enough.”

Korekiyo seated himself at one of the games, a machine away from the thirsty old women. “Oh, one more thing. If you see an old lady with purple hair and a floral broach, be wary. She has… wandering hands.”

“Dude...” Kaito walked off in disgust, then paused and thought for a moment before turning back. “You sure you're okay here by yourself, man?”

“Perfectly fine. Now leave me be.”

“Okay, if you're sure. Just, uh, blink twice if you need help, k?”

Korekiyo ignored him in favour of his pachinko machine that was spitting out a large amount of balls.

 

* * *

 

He was down to his last option now, and the fact that we willing to go with it truly showed his desperation. Though Kiibo did seem to project this harmless, innocent aura that attracted women to him like magnets. All Kaito had to do was intercept any girl drawn in and viola! One ticket to Bangstation!

In the restaurant area he had managed to successfully wedge himself between Kiibo and a blue-haired girl. Things seemed to be going well until a friend of the girl arrived on the scene.

“Oh, this is, uhh, Loud Boy With Goatee and Kind Boy With Headphones,” the blue-haired girl giggled with embarrassment as she introduced them to her friend. “I'm sorry, I don't know your names! Why don't you keep these boys company while I go see where my boyfriend went?”

“Boyfriend? Craaaaap,” Kaito muttered as the red-headed friend sat down and his original target left. Oh well, this girl was cute too, so whatever. Time to switch tracks!

“Uhm, so what do you guys do?” the girl asked uncomfortably.

“I'm a student, however I have not decided on my major yet,” Kiibo replied first.

The girl smiled. “I can relate to that. I'm a marine biologist.”

“Oh!” Kiibo's eyes lit up, only slightly literally. “I don't know much about this! Please tell me more.”

And so began a longass lecture on how awesome the sea was and how neat whales were or something, and oh no, humans were selfish pollutants, ruining the oceans and strangling turtles. Kaito couldn't get a word in edgeways.

“You're a really good listener, y'know,” the girl eventually finished.

“Yes, I like to learn!” Kiibo sat up straight. “It is my purpose in life!”

“That's so deep.”

“You know what else is deep? Space!” Kaito quipped but was ignored.

The girl was twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “Do you wanna come back to my room?”

Kaito choked.

“Will you tell me more about your job?” Kiibo asked.

“Oh, yeahhhh. And more~”

“KIIBO, NO! You...” he trailed off in defeat as he watched the girl and Kiibo leave together. “Sonuvabitch.”

Welp, the whole day had been a complete bust. He hadn't managed to score with a single girl. It was a lonely, depressing night with just himself and reliable ol' Righty. The next morning (the day of their return to the academy) he gloomily trudged into the hotel sitting area to see Shuichi and Kiibo.

“Did you really go to that girls' room last night?” he asked Kiibo.

“Who?”

“The redhead!”

“Oh, the marine biologist! Yes, she was very excitable. Though she did insist on touching me a lot without permission, which was rather rude.”

“Kiibo...”

“I think she'd be quite disappointed to learn I have no reproductive functions.”

“Oh, my god!” Kaito threw his arms up. “The perfect girl! Wasted!”

“This is the funniest one yet.”

“Zip it, Shuichi!”

 

* * *

 

_We're heading back now. On the train._

_Shuichi! I've missed you!_

_I missed you too :)_

_Hehe. Did you keep Kaito out of trouble?_

_Yeah, I kept an eye on him, no worries._

_Did anything happen?_

_Something nearly did once, I think? At the pool. I, uh, stopped it._

_Ah, I see……. Maki has been worried. I can tell. She's been extra snippy._

_Yeah… and Kaito's kinda slow…….._

_Shuichi, we HAVE to help them! It's embarrassing!_

_I'm in physical pain watching them oh wait kokichi just….. okay gtg_

_Okay! Can't wait until you're back! ilu <3_

_ilu too xxx_

When the group returned to the dorms a few hours later they found both Kaede and Maki hanging around in the communal sitting area.

“Did you guys have a good time?” Kaede asked kindly as she and Shuichi hugged briefly.

“Won lots of money,” Ryoma answered shortly.

“Same,” Korekiyo echoed.

Rantaro smiled. “I'm not rich by any means, but I got to see the legend in action.”

“Gonta found many exotic bugs by the pool!”

“And I learnt a lot about marine biology,” Kiibo answered.

“I see...” Kaede replied slowly.

“Kaito...” Maki said lowly, with a confusingly threatening tone. “Did you have a ' _good_ ' time too?”

Kaito puffed out his chest proudly. “Y-yeah! I'm totally loaded now! In fact, I broke the casino record for the biggest ever win! And the chicks were ALL over me! And—“

“Was that before or after I lost all your money?” Kokichi asked.

“Fuck off!” Kaito made a move to grab the smaller boy who neatly dodged into the dispersing group and scurried away giggling to himself.

“Kaito?” Maki prompted again.

He slumped down into a chair. “Okay, it sucked. I— _Kokichi_ —lost all my money and I didn't score once—“

“Good.”

“—the _robot_ got more action than me, my face hurts and I think I’m in debt n—sorry, what?”

Maki blushed and looked away. “Nothing, shut up.”

He hung his head and didn't pursue the matter. Depression and defeat radiated from him. He really didn't have the energy anymore. The wind had been verbally knocked right out of him. Maki carefully walked over and cautiously and awkwardly put a hand on his back to pat him in what was probably supposed to be a comforting manner.

If only her face didn't look so sour and stern.

“Get better soon,” Maki said. It sounded more like an order.

He solemnly lifted his head to meet her gaze.

“Maki...” Kaito looked deeply into her eyes. “I just wanna smash.”

“FOOL!” she shoved him off his chair.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Betty and Pearl just casually on a gambling trip to Japan? This is the straightest thing I’ve ever written. I can't stop picking on Kaito!


End file.
